Funny stuff..

Just a short note on some of the crazy stuff I stumbled across while doing a search with my new Craigslist searchbox. So yea, I am phoning it in, but I thought it was worth a look.

Ask a silly question - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/323692159.html

Manly bike for sale - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html

Cat found - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/fay/938646501.html

I have a huge bathroom - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/907788944.html

Hipster record store clerk - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/588037045.html

Fat Free Pringles (warning tmi) - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html

Stupid clock - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/oxr/736852115.html

Signs you are not my new roommate - http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/103955139.html

The Greatest Depression..

Well I would assume we are in a true depression. I can only say this because the muckity-mucks have finally admitted that we are in a recession. Since it has been 70 odd years since the "great depression", there is really nothing in living history for us to compare it to to judge our level of despair.

The problem I see with it this time around, is it is self-perpetuating. There is so much negative media coverage, that the populus is in a constant state of panic. The more we are told how bad things are, the less likely we are to make a major purchase to boost the economy. In the 1930's I am sure there was bad news, but not like today where it is blasted at you from every directio. I don't know which is worse, the endless barrage, or living in the 30's and just "not knowing".

You hear every day that we have not seen the worst of it yet, and we haven't hit bottom. I have heard it called "The Greatest Depression". I just wonder when we look back 20 years from now, what we will see...

New computers suck

I finally broke down and bought a new Dell Vostro desktop computer. My old Dell was 6 years old and though upgraded, getting slow and crashy. Transferring all the stuff I needed to run the website biz was a pain in the ass. I know there are programs to transfer from one computer to another, but 90% of the stuff I DIDN'T want. Mind you 6 years ago with XP was even before service pack 1. So if you ever look at the files from updates, there is a lot of garbage.

So after 2 days of constant tweaking, I am almost sure I am done. I can publish all my websites, edit photos and surf the net to all my favorites. The biggest problem was the new computer would not recognize my flatbed scanner. When I went to reload the driver disk, the disk was empty! Absolutely a blank cd, freakin' screwy!. I found the drivers on the internet, but nope. I am sorting that out. I bought a new scanner on ebay. I must say this new computer boots up and shuts down way quicker and is much faster in general.

So in my spare time I have been working a new toy. I developed a search box that allows you to search all of Craigslist with just one search. Not as difficult as it sounds, but check it out to see if it works.

You can put on your site I hope at http://shop-search.org. Cross your fingers!

Waste some more time with this game.

Ok, here is a game that is not going to cost you the whole afternoon. It is called Super Stacker and you can play it HERE. You are given a series of blocks and shapes and you have to stack them up and the stack has to stay up for 10 seconds. It sounds easy and at the beginning it really is. But as the game progresses, it get increasingly more challenging. You are given balls and triangles and you have to find out to use them without the shapes falling off. You will have to even be creative on a few levels and allow the shape to tumble into a usable position.

I finished all the levels (the firt time) in around 1252 seconds. I tried again and finished in 512 seconds. While it is not World of Warcraft, it is a fun distraction and should keep you entertained for a while. Have fun!

The power is out.

My heart goes out to the folks with no power. An icy winter blast hit the midwest Friday December 19th covering everything (near me) with more than a 1/4 inch of ice. Trees are down everywhere and some neighborhoods look like a tornado went through. Downed limbs have hit power lines and knocked out power to thousands including me. Luckily we were back with service in one day, but there are still thousands with no power. Now with a sub-zero blast on the way, people are in danger of frozen pipes bursting. Also there was not a warming trend after the ice storm to melt the ice off of the limbs. So now with expected winds of 15-20 mph, the people with restored power (like me) are watching the ice covered limbs and praying.

Not having power is very humbling. Everything we do revolves around having electricity. Heat and lighting are at the top, but we are so consumed with our lives that we take electricity for granted. When is the last time you had to poop without the exhaust fan creating the cover noise? How many times have you flipped the light switch out of habit even though you KNOW the power is out? So when your clock radio starts flashing 12:00, thank the utility workers for braving the dangers and elements to allow you to get on the internet again. Also give a shout out to the road crews that put in 14 hour days so you can get to Walmart at 3am.

Morphing made easy

Hello bloggists. Sorry for the lack of posting, but I am breaking in a new computer. Loading all the programs I need on a new dell with Windows XP. Had to get one before Vista took over the world.

In the meantime, I found a cool site you can morph photos of celebrities for free. Go to http://www.morphthing.com/. Pick two celebrities and click morph to see what they would look like. Here is my morph of Reese Witherspoon and William Shatner ... creepy

Or You can register and load your own photos. Have fun!

brown and gray

Here I sit behind my computer thinking about the gloomy onset of another Indiana winter. I am amongst what seems to be and epidemic of people with bronchitis. I don't know what or who to blame it on. It could be the chemtrails, moondust or terrorists but if I misspell any words on this post, it is because my computer screen is covered in chunks of what used to be my lungs.

The only light at the end of the tunnel at this time of year, is the fact that in 2 weeks the days will start getting longer. (cough) I can picture the daffodils poking through the dirt and the eves dripping backdropped by the angle of the sun that looks "just a little different". I know it is early to start whining about winter (and all you people that LOVE winter can kiss my butt), but it swooped in early. It has been cold and snowy every day since around Thanksgiving. It just seems depressing that this may go on until March.

I think I must be the poster child for S.A.D. Wait, I know what would cheer me up! Seeing a ton of money rolling into my paypal account! Well at least go to my donation page and read the humorous antics from a deranged mind.

More crazy Games!

Due to overwhelming response from all of my follower, I am listing a couple more games of the same mystery puzzle genre. They are in the escape series:

1. escape from the gallery. if the game does not load properly, you may have to hit refresh.

2. escape 1: the car.

3. escape 2: the closet.

4. escape 3: the phone booth.

Graphichics are not quite as good as the Tipping Point Series, but challenging nonetheless.
Stave off alzheimer's for another day!

PS: it is 2:45 AM!
PSS: Games are supported by Google :-)

Tipping Point..

Well if you have several hours to waste on the computer, play the Tipping Point logic series. Right now there are 4 chapters out. I recommend that you play them in order because they get increasingly difficult as the series evolves. The games require you to think outside the box and retrieve tools from hidden locations that will allow you to solve the riddles. I can only recommend to find things that are clickable and see what happens. Also look for other rooms by moving your mouse to the edge of the screen and see if you can click that direction.

Start with Chapter 1. It is fairly simple and you will get the idea of how the game works. Plan to spend some time on the games as there is no save option to remember where you are in each given chapter. There is a walkthrough HERE, but give it a shot with no help.

Chapter 2 gets a little more difficult, but solvable without using the walkthrough.

Now I have to admit, I cheated almost all the way through Chapter 3. No excuses, it was just over my head. But rewarding still and fun to play using the walkthrough.

If you haven't torn all your hair out yet, then go for Chapter 4. I vowed to not cheat on this one and actually made it all the way through (almost). I only had to look for clues at the very end (after 3 hours). This chapter was just released November 7 and I could not find a good walkthrough like the others.

TRY CHAPTER 4 BEFORE YOU READ ON

The hardest parts were trying to get the flamingo in the greenhouse to get his butt off the nest to grab the goodies. You have to feed him shrimp from the metal pot while playing the music box. Tease him with the shrimp to get him to stand up. Also you have to have all 8 tubes in the matter converter in the right order. You can not install it until it reads "0008 CORRECT". Oh yeah, the morse code thing was kind of tricky, you have to use your head. The answer may not be on the parchment paper, but the theory is.

Good luck, if you get through chapter 4 with no help, you are one smart bastard. Post your time of completion in my comments. O questions, I will try to help.

Conspiracy Theory 2..

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Now I know why gas is $1.60 a gallon. When gas was $4.25, there was a rush to get a bunch of ethanol plants on line as quick as possible. Quick decisions were made, investments secured and construction began at a record pace. We all thought we were on the right track and the proverb "Necessity is the mother of invention" was holding true. We had confidence in the system that it would take care of itself. This scared the big oil companies shitless and something had to be done. The only answer was to make gas so cheap that there is next to no need for ethanol. Couple that with the credit crunch and banks are hesitant to lend money to ethanol plant construction.

All the big oil companies have to do is keep gasoline prices low long enough for the banks to call their loans on the ethanol plants. The plants go bankrupt and hence produce no ethanol, or at least the whole system is slowed down. Farmers that were growing more corn to feed the ethanol plants, now will have to second-guess their future planting. So I would guess that it would take a year of $4 a gallon gas to get hte ball rolling again. And that is provided the economy is back on track.

Big 3 Bailout..

Being from the midwest with a GM assembly plant in our city, I am sympathetic to the repercussions of a factory closing. However, the auto makers must assume the brunt of the decline in sales. They claim they don't make fuel efficient cars because "It is not what the consumer wants". Well who determines "what we want" anyway? It what we see on TV or what others are driving. All we see in advertising is trucks and suv's. All we see in movies and music videos are BIG vehicles. So I blame the auto companies for not steering the consumer cattle to smaller vehicles with promotional advertising campaigns. The profit margin in a huge vehicle is way more than a small vehicle so it kind of makes sense. And with a failsafe government creating light at the end of a tunnel, why not?

All the auto companies needed to do (about 20 years ago) is start an ad campaign promoting smaller cars and how cool they are. Put a pimped out tiny car in a rap video and there you go. They could call it the "Chevy Bling". Give one to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton and it would sell. It would (have been) a long term transition, but the bigwigs are smart, they had to see this coming. They had the inside scoop on how people paid for vehicles and I am sure there are detailed analytics on financing. People have been paying less cash and financing longer. Most people never OWN a vehicle now.

Anyhow, I had a 78 Toyota Corolla that go almost 30 miles a gallon. That was freakin' 30 years ago. Yo can't tell me that technology has stalled. I just think the money went in the wrong direction. And now it is going to be coming out of my pocket... again.

The decline..

I was just sitting here dreading the onset of winter, watching Indiana fade from brown to gray. It reminded me of a time when my brother Chuck asked me how I could stay here all year 'round. Chuck was a world traveler and had "places" in Alaska and Hawaii that he would take turns living at. Complete with mountains, bears etc. He said that from about November to March Indiana was just unbearably gray and he couldn't take it and he would leave.

Not the point of my post though, I was thinking what or when was the beginning of the decline of the US economy (this time). I have to blame it on NAFTA and then SAFTA. We cannot be everything to everybody. And with Mexico having an hourly wage of 1/4 or less of the US, there is no way to compete fairly in the world market. It would be great to think in a Utopian society that we could absorb the difference, but it is evident that we cannot.

If you haven't noticed, I am the poster child for S.A.D., I guess in our family. it is adult onset.

In Memory of Charles (Chuck) F. Mohr Jr. 1950 - 1997

Game Box

I have been struggling trying to figure out how to put games on this blog as well as offer the games to other people to put on their websites and blogs. The problem is I am trying to promote Big Fish games, and they only offer the game as an I-frame. Most cool sites like Myspace don't allow frames. I have found a website (widgetbox.com) that allows you to create widgets. It converts my framed page to javascript and then I can give that code away. This is based on promoting my gaming website http://websitegames.org/. I will be working on ways to use this in the future. I am like a kid in a candy store.. If it works..

The missing dollar..

I am going to lighten up a bait and post an old math puzzle that no one has ever been able to explain to me why it doesn't add up.

3 guys are going on a hunting trip and each pitch in $10 on a hotel room. They pay the desk clerk, get the key and go to the room to get some sleep for an early morning adventure. The clerk's boss shows up and tells the clerk he had promised the room to the hunters for $25. He gives the clerk $5 in one dollar bills and tells him to take it to the hunter's room and refund them the $5. The hunters are so happy with the honesty of the hotel, they each accept a $1 bill and tip the clerk $2 for his trouble.

So each hunter has now paid $9 a piece for their room for a total of $27. Add that back to the $2 the clerk got for a tip and you only come up with $29. What happened to the missing $1?

The internet is addicting...

I just figured out why the internet is so addicting. I got one of those stupid "help us make the internet better" survey things from Yahoo. And I am pissed off at Yahoo anyway for raising the price of domain name renewal from $9.95 to $34.95. (I think they did it to inflate their assets for the Google buyout, but that is a different story). So I thought I would do the survey just to relieve some stress and skew the survey results. But it turned out to be a comparison of Yahoo and Google when you do a search. It made me come up with 3 things I always wanted to search for but never have, which is stupid anyway. Unless you have been have holding back on that search for "Swedish Midget Porn", you probably have done a search for whatever you wanted to search for. But I figured I would play along, after all, my name would be entered in the $1000 drawing!

So I decided to ask these 3:

1. Why did Yahoo raise the price of domain name renewal to $34.95? (What pisses me off here is banners on my Yahoo mail still offers domain names for $1.99 / year. I am a Yahoo affiliate through Commission Junction [http://cj.com] and Yahoo does not allow affiliates to promote the $1.99 offer.)

2. Why does Yahoo tech support suck? I had a bad experience with my Yahoo music subscription 2 years ago. It just quit working and they said no refunds, But "I couldn't talk to tech support directly, this is just the call center"!? They never did fix it, but I got my damn money back. Can you tell I am still pissed?

3. Why do I get these stupid surveys and nobody ever contacts me, and nothing is ever done?

So I actually had to do a search for the above topics on Google, then Yahoo. And what is ironic, if I had already written this blog, I may have found this post in the search results. (at least on Google :). Anyhow, I couldn't find any relevant topics on my searches and I didn't want to waste a bunch of time anyway, so I just went through the motions so I could post my derogatory comments.

My whole point here is I was so overwhelmed by the experience that I had an adrenaline rush with a sadistic undertone. For a while I was so focused on the internet, it felt like I was in a whole different place, not sitting in front of my computer in my underwear. It was a "trip" similar to the drug induced days of my youth. It is the out-of-body experience that becomes the addictive part of the internet (unless you really do search for Swedish Midget Porn). When I was finally done with the survey and clicked out, I came back to reality and only then realized how far gone I really was. This not the only instance I have observed this behavior in my self. Just like the concentration it took to post today...

PS: Nobody from Yahoo has contacted me, and nothing has been done.

Spread the wealth...

Ok, I admit it, I was rooting for John McCain. I just don't think voting for change just for the sake of change is a good idea. My point today is why I think Obama won.

Everyone said that George Bush was all about oil. And when gas was $4.25 a gallon, we all hated George Bush for not doing anything about it. Big Texan oil mogul has us by the nuts and is profiting at our expense. McCain's platform was built around energy independence; drill, drill, drill! I think he even chose Palin to ease the pain when we sent the dereks to Alaska. Great move I thought.

But then weeks and even days before the election, gas drops in price to $2.19 a gallon. Suddenly (because of the fluoride in the water I suppose), we no longer want to drill, drill, drill, and McCain's platform seems way less important. Since the election was so close, that could have been the difference. Just think if gas went to $4.75 right before the election, we may have had a different outcome.

What makes no sense, is that if our big Texan oil mogul George Bush was so important in the oil biz, why would he let gas prices drop the way they did? The answer to that has to be that he had no control, and really has had very little influence. If he did, being a Republican, he would have thought of this before I did and we would have had the price jump the day before election day.

So I can only surmise the Oil Cartel is responsible for the outcome of our election. Sure, they covered their butts and claimed they were going to cut oil production, but didn't until after the election. It seems THEY wanted Obama for president. Call me paranoid, but it scares me when the whole world celebrates our election's outcome.

good for business..

I hate to admit it but the sagging economy has been good for business. First let me reiterate that my business is computers. Web gaming, free website hosting promotion, online advertising, freebies and web page design to be exact. Several things have happened that have steered people my way. First, and most importantly, the price of a computer has dropped considerably. Almost anyone can afford a $400 computer. The same computer 5 years ago would have cost around $2000. So computers are in more hands than ever. Especially younger kids that will click on anything without a 2nd thought. Computers are almost a requirement for school children now.

The next thing, unfortunately, is unemployment. More people are home from work and spending more time on the computer. The promise of "working from home" and earning a living is closer to reality for a lot of people. Even a majority of job hunting is done on the computer. While not job hunting, I would guess people are coming to my websites and playing games and building websites. And with the invention of Paypal, you can send and receive money very easily.

There is also a recent trend that without getting too technical, for advertisers to want to advertise on regular peoples' websites like your's and mine. The have a lot of money to pay for advertising space and are aggressive in contacting smaller site owning webmasters. It has to partially to do with Google downgrading the value of all the huge sites linking to each other to move up the list on a search engine search. To simplify; the playing field is even for small or huge webmasters to get listed near the top on a search engine.

To prove this, do a Google search for the term "build a free website". My site http://buildfree.org/ has been near the top for nearly a year. On the site you will see occasionally text ads from Google. These are "Google Adsense ads". You build a website, apply to Google to join the adsense program, then put the ads on your website. Whenever someone clicks on a Google ad, you make a few pennies. The trick is to get a lot of web traffic, in my case, it comes from the Google search from above. So Google sends me a ton of visitors, and then pays me to send them to their advertisers. God Bless Google. Add this to a few other campaigns, and you would be on your way to riches..

What makes this sad is, everyone I have ever tried to coach (in person) to try to make money online, has treated me like I am pushing some type of pyramid scheme. I will admit I am not the best teacher, but I always thought that if someone saw proof in black and white of what the potential is, they would persue it. I wish I would have met someone like me about 5 years ago to show me the ropes, it would have save me many headaches and tons of time and money.

Sites to use for reference: http://buildfree.org/, http://netearnings.org/, http://free-sites.org/, http://websitefreebies.net/, http://buildfree.net/, and http://free-templates.org/.

When It Rains..

Ok, I was feeling all high and mighty as a homeowner saving lives and all. My wife decided to run a load of laundry to test out the new and improved filler hoses. (Now remember the hoses (and drain) are behind the refridgerator, and the fridge is back in it's spot against the wall.) I was on the computer ans she said she thought she heard water running from behind the fridge, I got up and shined a flashlight back there and didn't see any drips so I felt confident it was her overactive imagination. I said I would shine the light back there at the next drain cycle. Sure enough, the washer drain was overflowing a bit. Most of the water was going down the drin pipe, but it was rising out the top and running down between the wall studs.

Our house is on a slab and the washer drain is a 2 inch copper pipe that was probably big enough in FREAKING 1958. Well 50 years later, it sucks and there isn't much we can do about it except keep the pipe squeaky clean with a plumber's snake. We generally have it snaked once or twice a year, but we are obviously overdue.

So I had a brilliant idea, pull the fridge back out and get 2 buckets and the next time the washer drained, take turns filling the buckets and dumping them in the sink. Whoda thunk a washer could drain 2 gallons of water faster than I could dump it in the sink. It wasn't too bad at first, but it just kept draining and draining, and with each bucket, about a quart of soapy water sloshed out onto the carpet - about 10 times. Not to mention the rapidly nervous dumping sink water mess. Bring out the shop vac again and turn on the fans and call the plumber. Did I mention I smacked my head on the kitchen cabinet? No stitches, but I saw stars for about an hour..

Yes, it could have been much worse if it had slowly leaked over a longer period, but I have had enough already. So along with the checklist from my last post, check your washer drain while I go get drunk.

Averting Disaster...

Well all the websites are back up with new hosts and everything seems to be back to normal. So I thought I would take a break from the computer and get caught up on some homeowner chores. I decided to vacuum out the dryer vent with the shop vac. It may not sound too exciting, but if you have ever had a dryer fire, (or want to avoid one), it is a necessary maintenance item. Well the dryer vent went fine, but while wiping down the back of the washer, I noticed one of the water filler hoses for the washer had a bulge in it about the size of a golf ball. It looked like if I touched it, it would burst. And to those of you who are not clear on the mechanics of a washing machine, when the hose bursts, the water flows and flows and flows and flows.

This happened to us once about 5 years ago when my wife called me at work and said the washer was overflowing and there was no way to turn it off. And our house was built in 1958, so to put a full size washer and dryer in, the water supply had to originate from behind the refrigerator. So while the water was running my wife could not move the refrigerator to get to the shutoff valves. I was miles away and couldn't leave, so by the time, she was able to find someone to shut it off, we had 2-3 inches of water in the family room. It took hours of shopvac and days with a fan to dry it up.

So to end this amazingly boring post, I want everyone to check their dryer vent and washing machine hoses right now. A bit of preventative maintenance may save you hundreds of dollars, or even your life...

Holy Crap..

My apologies for not posting for a couple days, but sometimes the life of a webmaster bites me in the butt. 14 out of my 20 websites disappeared off the internet without a trace. Luckily they were not my highest paying sites, but there are some paid advertisers that would be complaining if I did not do something fast. The sites that went off line were all hosted from a web hosting company that was offered to me free from a friend about 2 years ago (for the oldest site). I have had very little problems with them but there is no tech support to speak of. No there is no way to tell the status of an outage.

I have spent the last 2 days scurrying to set up new hosting accounts and getting the sites all back going. It takes 24-72 hours to get the domain names to resolve and then I had to hurry up and publish the entire site content. As of this post, all the sites are back up but 3.

Not only that, my quarterly taxes needed to be finalized and paid. So bear with me and with any luck, things will be back to normal soon.

Who's Responsible?

Now that the crude oil price is half of what it was when gasoline was $4.25, why isn't gas $2.12? I have heard every excuse in the book when gas prices were on the way up. First it was the istability of the European Front. Oh no, there might be a war in some country that I didn't even know was a country. Then it was hurricanes. Just the rumor of any hurricane (since Katrina) that may blow over a lawn chair in the gulf of Mexico sent gas up 15 cents. Then it was because of the US dollar being worth less. Then more hurricanes.

Well it seems to me that big corporations take turn profiting at my expense. I have figured out why gas is still expensive. It is the turn of insurance companies to make some profit. They took a big hit in Florida several years ago with the 4 hurricanes, then Katrina. And also the Mississippi flooding. So when gas is high, people drive less, so fewer car crashes. Hence, savings for the insurance companies. When more people are home because they can't afford to go anywhere, there are fewer burglaries because there are fewer unoccupied homes. Also burglars can't afford to just joyride around looking for houses to burgle. Not to mention arsons are down just because of the price of gas. So blame it on the insurance compainies this time.

More random thoughts...

I forgot to mention in my post about the election that I already know the results. I am sorry to dissapoint the pollsters, but McCain is going to win by a considerable margin. It boils down to the fact that when a pollster calls a home, people are afraid to appear politically incorrect and are saying they are voting for Obama. That and the fact that the media is trying to sway viewers Democratic and they make it seem like the population is leaning toward Obama. Yes, there is also going to be a scandal because of the result. Accusations of cheating and voter fraud will ring because "everybody" was sure Obama was going to win.*

* I reserve the right to edit this post :)

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You would think with the state of the country today, that there would be mass rioting in the streets. In the 60's and 70's people would protest for any reason. It was like a big party - let's get out on the streets and bitch about something. The reason we are so apathetic these days boils down to the fluoridation of the drinking water. Fluoride is poison and builds up in the body and brain and is passed on to our offspring, who in turn will be more apathetic. Read more at http://www.holisticmed.com/fluoride/. I don't really care though..

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On the same note, as we age our hearing fails, our sense of taste fades. Our vision blurs and we can't get around like we used to be able to. Well it is God's blessing that helps us stay married. I can't hear her complaining and I don't whine about her cooking. I can't see how unattractive (we) are becoming and I can't run away. (plus I am drinking a lot more fluoridated water)

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Finally a helpful hint to people giving out candy on Halloween. Buy Tootsie Rolls - the ones that about the size of your fingers. Eat 4 or 5 of them and take the wrappers and tape them around your fingers. When you approach the door, have your hand buried in the bowl. When you reach to give your little trick-or-treaters candy, move quickly and reach all the way into the kids bag or bucket and rustle around to make noise. In the confusion, they will never know any different. It takes a little practice, but I invented this system because my wife and I have a deal worked out. She buys the candy and I have to give it out. She usually buys the good stuff like miniature Snickers bars and Krackel bars. If there is any left over, I get to eat it :)

The Election..

Is it just me or is this Presidential election completely up for grabs? I am generally a conservative Republican, but I don't want to vote Democrat just because things haven't went well with the Bush administration. In the beginning and during the 9/11 crisis, George Bush was our hero and leader. But as time passed, we realized that this is going to cost a buttload of money and we just can't afford. But then the Vietnam argument rears it's ugly head and we resolve not to desert a country halfway through a war. So we stick it out, going slowly broker, thinking George will pull the answers out of his magic hat.

Well that didn't happen, and now with the mortgage crisis, stock market crash and unemployment, it feels like a relationship that is reaching it's end. We see Obama as the cute girl we kind of know that winks at us once in a while. We are so tired of our current Republican relationship, that we are ready to rebound into a new love. Except now we don't have a slew of choices, we only have one choice. It seems like the lesser of two evils is Obama. But with little experience will he be the girlfriend that can't balance the checkbook?

So I would guess we would have to look into the Vice-Presidential choices. Obama's choice Biden seems like an old fuddy-duddy Democrat that is afraid to have views of his own heard for fear of stepping on Obama's toes. If we had to rely on Biden to round out the ticket, I don't feel it. But then again Palin seems just TOO media friendly. This may be a good thing in one way as the media generally leans Democrat. But McCain is older than dirt and we may have to deal with Palin more than we are ready for. So the Vice-Preasidents don't help me a bit.

I actually liked a few of the ideas of Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani and the Law and Order guy. Why is it now we have to put all our eggs in one basket? I know I will regeret either choice I make at some point, even if my chosen candidate wins. My feeling at heart is that we are just plain screwed either way. I am not prejudice of feminist in any way, but maybe if I was it would be easier to decide.

Maybe we have reached a point in the evelution of government, that 1 person cannot rule our country. I know that the Senate and House have oversight, but any more, the bi-partisanness seems to be more of a bull-headed (pardon the pun) issue than the issue. So by the time you add the pork to pass a bill, you have lost the original point.

What we need is a BIG change. I would gladly support a flat income tax. Even if it was 20% with NO deductions for any one at any income level. Studies have suggested that even 10% would cover the tax amount that is brought in today. This would put more money in the pockets of the consumers like me that could afford to buy stuff to boost the local economy.

But who am I? I'll be right back, I have to fill my Prozac prescription...

Poetry First - Then Music (yes, I phoned it in)

(My Guitar) Leading Me On

LATELY I’VE FLAUNTED, MY GUITAR IS HAUNTED,

AND I’VE BEEN UNDAUNTED ‘TILL NOW

TO PLAY IT, IT PLEADS ME, I GO WHERE IT LEADS ME,

I FEEL LIKE IT NEEDS ME SOMEHOW



IT CALLS AND I FIND IT, I SIT THERE BEHIND IT,

I’M SIMPLY BLINDED AND PROUD

THE STRINGS STEER MY FINGERS AND I HEAR THE SINGERS

AS THE MELODY LINGERS ALOUD



I CRY WHEN IT’S SOUNDING GOOD

JUST 6 STRINGS OF STEEL AND SOME SHINY OLD WOOD

I PLAY… I PLAY OUR SONG

WITH MY GUITAR LEADING ME ON.

I CANNOT HIDE IT. I DIDN’T WRITE IT

IT CAME FROM INSIDE IT, MY FRIEND

IT HURTS AND IT’S HEALING, IT FLIRTS WITH THE FEELING

THAT I’VE BEEN CAUGHT STEALING AGAIN.


SOMEBODY BLESSED IT. A SOUL THAT’S UNRESTED

A SONWRITER’S FINAL BOW

THAT’S WHY I FLAUNT IT, MY GUITAR IS HAUNTED

AND I’VE BEEN UNDAUNTED ‘TILL NOW

I CRY WHEN IT’S SOUNDING GOOD

JUST 6 STRINGS OF STEEL AND SOME SHINY OLD WOOD

I PLAY…I PLAY…OUR SONG

WITH MY GUITAR LEADING ME ON.

copyright 2008 Jim Mohr

You thought nosebleeds were bad...

Ok, so you are learning why I am so messed up. Well I think I have pinned it down to a couple trivial, yet traumatic events in my childhood. Chronic nosebleeds, hay fever and 4 older brothers dented my psyche, but the following put me over the top.

It may be TMI, and I apologize, but I used to pee the bed until I was about 10 years old. I just played hard and slept extremely sound. First let me tell you that my mother (God rest her soul) tried every trick in the book to get me to stop wetting the bed. Liquid restriction, making sure to go to the bathroom before I went to bed and everything else she read or learned about did not help. This was in the era of not having a washer and dryer in the house, so my mom had to pack the laundry in the car and take it to the laundromat. This was before the time of socially acceptable kiddie diapers and sensitive family members.

Towards the end of the experience, she invented the "no pee bed party". She would put a red star on the calendar every day I did not wet the bed, and a yellow star (unfortunately) if I did. If I made it 7 days without wetting the bed, we would have (in theory) a small party with cake, etc. My brothers got to participate if I made it 7 days, so at 3 or 4 days they would start pressuring me so they could have cake too. Well to tell you the truth, I don't remember ever having a no pee bed party, I think the humiliation I went through is partially blocking my memory..

It was not the bedwetting that was traumatic, but treatment for the malady in the 1960's that was almost abuse. I remember my parents read about some breakthrough treatment for bedwetting, and invited over the salesman. We all sat down at the kitchen table and I remember how he said that it was unfortunate that "I could not have a sleepover at Johnny's house", and this new treatment would cure me in months.

It consisted of 2 aluminum window screens, each covered by a pillow case. A wire from each screen ran to a bedside bell with a loud buzzer, flashing red light and a switch to turn the unit off and on. The patient (me) was required to sleep naked on the 2 screens. When I started to pee the bed, the liquid would make an electrical connection between the screens and set off the buzzer and flashing light. I had to get up and turn off the unit, go into the bathroom (naked of course), splash my face with water to wake me up, and use the bathroom. I then had to go back to the bedroom, change the pillow cases and reset the machine.

I vividly remember 1 event. I was having my accident and the buzzer went off. I got up, turned off the machine, and made my way to the bathroom. When I splashed the water in my face, it woke me up enough to realize that there were strange faces in the living room I just walked through naked. It was my older sister and 3 of her girlfriends having a sleepover and watching tv. So I had to don a towel and walk back past them to get to get to my bedroom. And I was sure that my sister had to explain to them what the buzzer was and the flashing light. I made the humiliating journey amidst the snickers without making eye contact and changed the pillow cases and went back to bed.

Within 2 months of using the machine, I was cured, if that is what you want to call it. I no longer wet the bed, but until this day, even the slightest noise while I am sleeping will wake me. Not to mention I cannot even have the slightest urge to urinate and try to sleep. So I don't know how it works, I would have grown out of it eventually I guess, and in this case the cure was almost as bad as the affliction. But not according to my mom, the damn thing cost like $1000 in 1971.

So please treat this post as informational and theraputic if a family member has the same problem. I am just glad it is all over becase according to drybed.com "We work with your family to change this unhealthy deep-sleep pattern that underlies all bedwetting. We also increase the small bladder capacity and teach you how to strengthen and sensitize the sphincter muscle".

Maybe I didn't have it so bad...

Stuff from my memory...

I don't want anyone to think I am just "phoning in" my blog posts, so I will dig deep in my past and relate a couple items. I do have to hand it to the bloggers that can maintain a daily entry to their blog and keep it interesting.

Dovey: When I was very little, probably from an infant, I had a babysittter named we called "Dovey". She was an older woman that lived in the house behind us. I can only remember her wearing a light blue flowered robe-type dress. she must have been around 60ish and was very nice if not a bit overprotective.

I have 2 memories of her that are plain as the day (though I was probably 5 at the time) they happened and I would like to relate them. I used to have chronic nosebleeds as a child, and they never really bothered me because they were so frequent. As a matter of fact, they got me out of class many times in elementary school. I would be so busy playing in the yard that a nosebleed would would not dampen my fun. During one excessively productive event while Dovey was babysitting, I came in from playing with my shirt just drenched in blood. I didn't think anything of it, but Dovey became hysterical and started really freaking out. She could understand how I could be so calm when I must have a life-threatening injury. It was not until my older brother explained to her that this was a regular event did Dovey calm down. I did not realize until later in life that heavy nosebleeds can actually be harmful due to blood loss, but at the time it was more of a status symbol. I could even have a nosebleed in my sleep and that was weird to wake up to.

My saddest memory of Dovey was that she had this magic trick she would do for me everytime she babysat. She did it for as long as I can remember and I was jusy at a loss to how she did it. She would show me her hands and at the end of one finger on each hand she would have a small piece of white paper stuck to the tips. She would lean forward then way back and put her hands in the air, then over her head and behind her back, and when she brought her hands back over her head to the front, the paper pieces would be gone! She must have done this trick for me a thousand times over the years of babysitting, and for the life of me, I could not figure out how she did it. To me Dovey WAS magic.

What makes this sad, one day when I was 8 or 9, I finally figured it out. When she first showed me her fingers with the papers on them, the papers were stuck to her middle fingers. When she put her hands behind her head, she folded her middle fingers into her palms and when she brought her hands back, she exposed and pointed out her ring fingers with no papers. It sounds so simple just describing it like this, but to me it was thrilling.

She was so disappointed when I figured it out. I was like we lost a bond we had just between us. Within a week, she had a heart attack and died. God Bless my Dovie.



PS: a short note on the nosebleed thing, I had my tonsils out when I was 13, and had a nosebleed on the operating table. They did an emergency nasal cauterization. I later found out that nosebleeds during a tonsilectomy are a leading cause of death.


PSS: I have not been able to breathe through my nose since.

You're An EXTREME Redneck When....

Found on the website http://www.ebaumsworld.com/

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Play a free game!

This is an experiment to see if the great and powerful Google will allow me to put games on my blog!

Plays like Tetris - game courtesy of Play-Free.org

Helpful Hints..

Here are a couple helpful hints to make your life just a bit easier and save a few bucks.

1. If you ever need your tires rotated and it is cold out or you cannot do it yourself, try this. Find a repair shop that offers FREE brake check. Then tell the serviceman that you would like all the wheels removes so you can view and compare brake wear.

Act totally amazed and appreciative with the serviceman's knowledge of auto repair. Then just roll the wheels around the car to the desired location (pretending to examine tire wear). It easier to pull off a front-to-back, back-to-front rotation as opposed to a criss-cross rotation. Sometimes you really don't hve to be sneaky if you are nice to the mechanic and act as if you may use their services when you decide to have your brake work done. Plus you may even find you DO need brake work..

---

2. My license branch has one of those number dispensers at the entrance. If your license branch does too, you can do this. Go when the license brance is very busy. When no one is looking grab 5 to 10 numbers from the dispenser. Look to see what number they are serving to judge how long you can be gone. Go ahead and go about your errands until you feel the license branch is serving the numbers in your stash. You can stand outside and sell them to hurried customers for $1 a piece. It is safer if you go inside and sit down and sell them to your neighbors discreetly. I don't think this is really a crime, but if you get caught, they may not be happy. But a great clandestine adventure can make your day as well as a few extra dollars..

More Deep Thoughts

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON T.V.?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60,She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If you are addicted to dancing, do you have to go through a 12 step program?

If olive oil comes from olives, and corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat"?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why do toasters even have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile E Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 's' in it?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before I met her.

Why do we know about the "Secret Service"?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

I played a blank tape at full volume. The mime that lives next door complained.

If you drove at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

All generalizations are wrong.

I was shopping at a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

What did tornadoes sound like before trains were invented?

Does a tanker truck full of helium weigh more full or empty?

I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.

Why do they call it stationary if you're supposed to mail it?

I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.

Do pediatricians play miniature golf?

Why don't they invent a solar powered flashlight?

If a fly didn't have wings, would we call it a walk?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

No matter how hard you try, you cannot dig half of a hole.

Why don't they invent a cordless extension cord?

Do they use trees grown in smoggy cities to make carbon paper?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why do we wait until the pig is dead to cure it?

What would happen if you xeroxed a mirror?

If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille numbers on a drive-up ATM?

Is there another word for synonym?

Did the early settlers ever go camping?

How do you know if a crouton is stale?

When it rains, do cotton fields shrink?

What is the speed of dark?

If a vampire can't see his reflection, how does his hair stay so neat?

Is animal shampoo tested on humans?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour to get out of the water?

Would a blind tourist use a sightseeing eye dog?

If you had everything in the world, where would you put it?

What does "it" mean in "what time is it"?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we know it?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If teflon is non-stick, how did they get it to stick to the pan?

What is another word for thesaurus?

Can fat people go skinnydipping?

If eyes have eyebrows, why aren't moustaches called mouthbrows?

It's not an illusion, it just looks like one.

First time cross-country skiers should choose a small country.

If a #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

Should a crematorium give discounts to burn victims?

How do you let people know you painted a "wet paint" sign?

When a cow laughs, does milk come out his nose?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

The early bird gets the worm, but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

I hated working at the fire hydrant factory. I couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Why isn't the word "phonetic" spelled like it sounds?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

How did a fool and his money GET together in the first place?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If it's true that we are here to help "others," then what exactly are the "others" here for?

If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Four fifths of all people have trouble with fractions.

Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor, because you were "just going down to the corner."

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
Why not put pictures of criminals on postage stamps so mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now they take Prozac to make it normal.

Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?

How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If someone tells you he is a chronic liar, should you believe him?

If you were traveling at the speed of sound, and you turned on your radio, would you be able to hear it?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read correctly?

If somebody vanishes without a trace, how do people know they are missing?

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it has to want to change.

Did they have antiques in the olden days?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?

Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

What would you use to dilute water?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling "Movie! Movie!" ?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

If a parsley farmer is sued, will they garnish his wages?

How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented, but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?

REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN...

Words of wisdom found on the internet:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) The accountant at the music store records records of the records.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?...Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

How can your house can burn up as it burns down, How can you fill in a form by filling it out, and in an alarm goes off by going on.

When the stars areout, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this Blog, I end it.

Prevent identity theft and surfing safely...

There are several steps you can take to make yourself less of a target for identity theft and make your computer and internet surfing experience safer.

My biggest bit of advice is to keep your virus protection and spyware programs current and updated. Run scans regularly.

Get a free email address (or 2) to use for online purchases, fourm posting or anywhere you have to use an email to submit something. If you use your personal email, after a while you will start getting spam. Some of my favorite free email address are Yahoo, Fastmail and Hotmail. And do not bother to "unsubscribe" from the link on the bottom of an unwanted email. this just verifies that you have a valid email address to the spammer. Instead use your email options to set your filters to screen bulk email and spam.

Do not click on links or download attachments in emails even if you think you know who they are from. And most important, do not enter personal information in email links or websites you were referred to, or navigated to by email. No matter how official they look, as they could be fraudulent or fake! If you get an unexpected email from someone you know that contains an attachment or a suspicious link - call them and verify they sent it.

Do not be afraid to purchase items online, as some of the best deals are found here. However, create an account with your credit card company and log in regularly to monitor credit card activity. It is easier for a criminal to create a new account online using your information, than it is for them to hack your password.

Also use "Shop Safe" or an equivalent. You can generate a temporary credit card number that you can set the amount and expiration date. It works the same as your regular credit card number, but if someone gets the number, they cannot use it. Learn more HERE. Ask your credit card company if they have it, or get one at https://www.bankofamerica.com/index.jsp.

When filling forms on line with personal information, make sure the web address in your browser starts with https:// and not http://. The "s" indicates a secure page.

Get LifeLock Proactive identity theft protection. For only $10 per month, they offer a $1 Million identity theft protection guarantee. Also reduces junk mail and unsolicited credit card offers. You can learn more here and get 10% discount.

Creation or Evolution...

First let me say I believe in God, I just have trouble fathoming that he can be everywhere for everybody at all times. I think he is more of a trusting humorous God that enjoys experimenting. I believe he is like a scientist that mixes up a formula, then stands back to see what happens. He has to remain indifferent when unpleasant circumstances occur, as affecting the variables during the experiment would alter the outcome. Why else would there be war, cancer, birth defects or tragic accidents?

My theory on evolution and creation is that we are not the first creation of God, nor will we be the last. When we are out in space, we jettison our bacteria laden garbage out the space capsule poop chute to float around for eternity. Or until it gathers with other space debris and be comes a bigger mass of space trash. Before too long, the frozen ball is struck by a comet or meteor and is sent on an unknown journey. Imagine that ancient space aliens did the same thing; millions of years ago. Their space trash traveled the universe until it crashed through the virgin Earth's atmosphere just as our lifeless planet was under development. The moldy Big Mac from space fell into the warm waters of the ocean just as it thawed, setting off events that have eventually lead to this blog.

The first creatures were 1-celled amoeba that flourished in the formerly lifeless seas. This answers how everyone came from Adam and Eve. Since amoebas are asexual, they split to reproduce, so they begat without incest. And begat they did, growing and evolving into the life as we know it. The rest can be found in the school books.

So God may have created the Earth in 6 days, and Man in his image, just not man as we know it...

Taxation on website revenue...

Well you finally made it, you are making money on the internet. Or at least the money is in your sights. It all seems like gravy when the checks start rolling in, but do not forget what it is; income, and it is taxable. I can only speak of the tax system in the United States, but earnings you generate on the internet is treated just like the money you make on your job. If you are in the 28% federal tax bracket on your job, you then owe 28% of money you make on the internet to Uncle Sam. What is worse, is that since you are self employed to generate this revenue, you owe an additional 14% self proprietor tax for a total of 42% or nearly half!

Also keep in mind that since the internet is electronic, so all your revenue is traced, tracked and reported. So avoid any future grief bykeeping good records and don't spend all your profits. You could even incorporate to save the 14% self proprietor tax, but you will then have to file quarterly reports, pay tax quarterly and probably pay an accountant. In my experience, the advantage to incorporate will pay off around $50,000 annual income.

The bright side, if you are making money on the internet, you require a computer to do so, so your computer is tax deductible. So is your printer, paper, pens, internet access, external hard drive, accessories and web hosting costs. So again I stress to keep good records. Get what you need to run your business comfortably and concentrate on the positive.

Back to the grindstone - website optimization..

You may ask what is website optimization and why do I need it? Website optimization is the process of making a website search engine friendly and hopefully brings it to the top of the list during a search. Sometimes called SEO (search engine optimization), it is a necessary step for any successful webmaster. There are many companies on the internet (I know because they spam me) that promise to make your website #1 on a Google search for a fee. They promise it can be done in a week! This is just plain bullcrap. You can optimize your website yourself, but be patient, the wheels of progress turn very slow. You may not reach #1 on a search, but you will have a definite advantage over websites that don't optimize. The following is the tried and true HTML method.

Step 1. To make a long complicated story short and simple, a website page is broken up into 2 parts, the and the . The body section is what is actually seen by the visitor. The head section content is not seenby the visitor. But it contains 3 valuable tools for website optimization. They are called "Meta Tags", and are the "Title", "Description" and Keywords" You can only create, install and modify your meta tages if you have access to the HTML code in your website's text editor. You need to do every page of your website, and costumize it to be topic specific for each page. The "title" should contain the name or title of your website and a REALLY brief goal of your website. The "description" should be approximately 2 sentences and contain a more detailed summary and goal of your website. The "keywords" should be a list of words and 2-3 word phrases separated by commas. You want to use words that would be used in a search to find your website in a Google search. You also need to use words that are found in the visible text in the body section of your web page. You can use a tool that creates your meta tages for you for free by just filling in a form, then copying the results and pasting them in the head section of your web page. The tool can be found HERE.

Step 2. The actual visual content of your web page should contain a good amount of text. Try to implement as many of the keywords you used in your "keywords" in your meta tags. When Google indexes youe website, it will compare the visual text to the keywords and also evaluate the text to see if it is relevant to your site's topic. There is no real "correct" way to do it, but like I said before, be patient. Set your site up to the best of your ability, then in a month or so, do a few searches on Google that would be relevant to your site. If you have a really competitive site topic, it may take several months to even appear on a search. If you do find your site, but on the 40th page, you could make a few changes (back up your work in case you lose ground). It may take up to a year to reach a consistent level.

Step 3. Another step that used to be way more important than it is now is getting people to link to your website. This is called a "backlink". The most valuable backlink is someone linking to your site without you linking to their site. This is called a "1-way link". The more links that are pointed to your website makes your website appear to be more popular and is supposed to help you in search engine listings when all things are considered. There are many ways of getting backlinks, but the most efficient way is to search for websites thate are similar in content to your's and contact the webmaster. Linking etiquette will have you link to them first, send them an email with the location of their link, and include your information for linking back. If they don't answer or refuse, just remove their link.

Another good way of getting backlinks is to find discussion groups, boards and forums that are related to your website. Contribute a bit of intelligent text and leave a link to your site. Also guestbooks are good to leave a link, and it helps to compliment the websmaster if you don't want to be deleted. And the new kid on the block for creating back links is blogging. Your archived pages are all listed on search engines one way or the other. So what better blog is there than a Google blog? ;-) There are link building programs and websites to try and automate the process, but I have had very little luck with them.

Backlinks used to weigh a lot more heavily in search enging ranking, but in the last year they seem to have less of an impact. I think it has to to with what is known as "Link Farms". A lot of companies and websites (mostly based in India) created thousands of websites that have no other purpose that to create 1-way backlinks for paying customers. Google is catching on to them and participating websites can drop right off the list with no warning.

In summary, create a site with good useful content and rub your lucky rabbit's foot.

This pisses me off too.

First let me clarify that I am in favor of public assistance for those who truly need it. But the idea has gotten truly out of hand. The welfare system is rewarding and actually encouraging people to be non-productive. The more babies a mother has, the more money she gets monthly and the more tax deductions she has at the end of the year. With the cost of daycare, it is a vicious cycle. She cannot afford to go out and get a job, but with the rising cost of living, she needs more money as the children get older. The system is set up for abuse.

To take it one step further, since she has all that extra time at home (probably with the deadbeat dad), she has more time to have sex. After all sex is free and what else do they have to do? So the productive ones like us work our asses off all day to make ends meet are too damn tired to make babies when we get home. Plus we see the bigger picture, if we can barely afford to live within our budget, how can we afford another mouth to feed? And our budget is growing ever smaller from taxation to fund more public assistance programs. So looking at it from a pessimistic point of view, civilization as we know it is doomed. Just for the plain fact that in a short time, the productive will be outnumbered.

My solution: every able body on public assistance will have to spend time at the landfill. Create an assembly line where the trash is dumped on a slow moving conveyor belt. Each person will have the duty of pulling out a specific material, like newspaper, orange plastic, tin foil, you get the idea. Give bonuses to those that show promise and move them to a more profitable recyclable. Promote those who show initiative to supervise the others. Provide the daycare and staff it by those capable. Do this with RESPECT and not a punishment. Create a positive attitude, as a majority of people WANT to be productive, they are just in a hole they can't get out of. As a byproduct, the landfills could cut their space needed by 50%? And the positive publicity for the landfill and the city would be enormous.

I do not say this from a point of view that I am better that these people. I would be the first to volunteer to do my time on the line. There probably woud be others that would volunteer to do the same. It may not even save any money in the short term, because they would all be paid what they were being paid before, but this would bring people together to network and come up with ideas of their own. I truly believe it would be self perpetuating. After all "green" is the new catchword.

Now I know the nay-sayers are going to say "what about liability"? Well if they are on public assistance, we are paying the medical bills any way. right? Or we could all just stay home and make money on the internet ...