Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Another Great Idea..

Ok, here is what I was leading to with the pot smoker post. When I was 18, it was legal to by pot smoking paraphernalia, then it was illegal, then it was legal again, then illegal again. Head shops came and went and came back, and went again. And when vinyl records died, so did the paraphernalia store.

Well I had an idea back then but I never had the guts to test it. My idea was to tear a bong apart to it's least common denominator so it is only a pile of parts like a tube, tube cap, small metal pipe, gasket etc. The idea was to sell all the individual parts separately and call them something completely different. For example, sell the main tube as a gerbil run, the stem tube as a BB gun loader, the bong bottom as a shot glass coaster etc.

The trick here is to create a public service (looking) ad stating that there has been information that the non-paraphernalia items have been assembled to create a bong. This of course is not the manufacturer's intention and not recommended... Show a picture of the ill-constructed bong and tell the viewers where they can buy the items that SHOULD NOT be assembled as a bong. The negative publicity will surely be picked up by the media and there you go; a sales boom!

It seems my idea is out of date because you can get on line and buy any kind of pot smoking paraphernalia you would ever want. Wait, pot is still illegal? Oh well, maybe my sales gimmick could be used for some other product, like a machine gun..

Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh No! A Pot Smoker!

Ok, let's make it clear. I think marijuana should be legal for personal use. I do not smoke now (and haven't for over 10 years) due to to my current job, but let's just say I can speak from experience. Let the government sell it or tax it or whatever they think they need to do. It is a lot less dangerous than alcohol by far, and is not the "gateway" drug the establishment would like you to believe. Spending money (in today's economy) on marijuana smokers is just stupid. Jail space is at a premium and rapists are getting out early while guy with a bag of weed sits in jail.

Marijuana could also save a few marriages a long the way. When working couples get home from work, instead of tearing into each other from the stress of the day, a couple bong hits and a moment of silence could prevent a lot of arguments. Alcohol just makes people angry or violent, where marijuana mellows a person out without the side effects of alcohol. It can cause lethargy, but can also bring out the artistic creative side of someone.

They have tests that can tell whether one is under the influence of alcohol at any given moment, but the test for pot shows what someone may have done in their spare time like 2 weeks ago. I can see if an employer does not want someone stoned at work, but the testing process is just unfair.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Amarilli Impressed...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Blame your grandparents...

Yes the whole financial meltdown was caused by you grandma and grandpa. After the tragedy of September 11, 2001, the financial markets suffered a shake-up that showed the fragile nature of the system. Many people like your grandparents (and me) pulled a lot if not all of their monies out of risky investments and put it in some type of secure fund. Many of the guaranteed funds offered a 4 or 5% return. This was small potatoes at that time, but the safety assurance was a load off their minds.

To get the highest return, the banks would offer you a higher percentage return if you would invest in a certificate of deposit, especially a long term CD like a 36 to 48 month maturity. This was the case up until around the beginning of 2006. At that time you could get a 5.75% (Annual Percentage Yield) CD with a maturity of 36-48 months. Many people took the banks up on this safe form of investment.

The bad news is, as the mortgages failed and the market tanked, the banks were still required to pay this "guaranteed" rate. So the money they got from your grandma and grandpa was invested by the banks in mortgages and investments that had generally earned a positive return was now losing money ... bad. So in other words, banks were headed for the red. Other factors actually contributed to unfortunate outcomes, but your grandma and grandpa were partly to blame.

The good news is, the banks were VERY quick to realize this and the guaranteed interest rates have dropped to around 2%. and all the long term CD's are now maturing and the banks can get back on track to black.

So thanks a lot grandma and grandpa for the near collapse of the nation. We have the last unfortunate laugh though because people on fixed incomes that use to rely on the revenue from interest on their CD's are royally screwed.

So I guess we are even...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Why A. I. G. Will Fail..

This is just a short post on what I see as obvious. A. I. G. is getting all kinds of negative publicity. Yet this is a company that relies on public confidence. Financial advisers, stock brokers and even you and I have a choice where we put our money. When more people decline to put their funds in the hands of A.I.G. executives, the company will naturally lose money.

So while we continually bail out A.I.G., threatening them with lawsuits and dragging the company through the mud only leads to their immanent decline. So Obama is not doing the country a favor by sending them hundreds of millions of dollars, then telling us what a terrible irresponsible company it is.

Obvious isn't it?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I will follow you into the dark..

Death Cab For Cutie - I will Follow You Into The Dark

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Could make a great movie...

Ok, you probably know by now I have a sadistic sarcastic sense of humor. But to me, this would be a funny-ass movie. I am sure someone is going to steal my idea, so here it is.

It would take a bit of preparation with a pregnant woman and a hospital. When the mother is getting ready to have her baby, video tape the whole thing from arrival to departure. Here is where the preparation would need to be done. Everyone would need to walk backwards as they enter the hospital. (I'll explain later) If the expectant mother is put into a wheelchair, wheel her in backwards and make sure anyone visible in the shot is walking backwards.

You can tape the birthing process as normal. Make sure you tape everything from the water breaking to the afterbirth. Then again as the proud parents are leaving the hospital, everyone needs to walk backwards. Have the car that picks up the mother back (reverse) into the shot. Load the parents in and go home.

Here is what makes the whole thing funny. What we are going to do is actually view the tape in reverse. Since the voices will not work backwards, the whole film will need to be narrated and dubbed. And I think a crappier dub job would make it even funnier.

Start the move out with the mother and father arguing. The mother would eventually say something like "I wish we would never had a child". The father would say "I know a way we could fix the whole thing!".

This is when you roll the birthing tape backwards. Except now everyone will be walking forward. Show the mother being wheeled into the hospital holding her baby. Then (dubbed) the father would say "I want you to put the damn baby back where he came from!" They would then wheel the mother into the birthing room (tape still rolling backwards). You would start with the afterbirth and it would look like the mother was sucking the placenta back into her body (sound effects would help immensely). Then the umbilical cord, and eventually the baby. The scene would end with the mother re-absorbing the water from the initial water breaking.

The movie would end with the now pregnant again mother being released from the hospital. Now I have left out a lot of the more graphic ideas I had, but I am sure your imagination can fill in the details...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Monday, March 9, 2009

Stuff you never knew you needed...

Technology is great! There is some stuff out there I bet you never knew existed.

How about a listening device that can penetrate up to 20 centimeters of concrete? http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11763

You surely need a 2-pack of stretchy license plate covers! http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.16805 and crap, it looks like this kind fits only European style plates. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.16963

And how many times have you wished you had a cell phone signal blocking device? http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.4355

If you watch survivorman, you have got to have one of these! http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.12305

Of course my Asian friends all need to have a double eyelid maker. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.15212

And how about a digital Buddhist jukebox? http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.5183

I almost forgot to order me a reverse door peephole viewer. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.17080

See where your special someone really goes with a personal gps tracker bug. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11314

Lord knows, we wouldn't want to hurt those pesky cockroaches. (read the reviews) http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.12643

Cool! a spy tie! http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.15614

Crap, you found my spy tie with you camera and bug detector pen. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.14780

When a normal knock is just not good enough. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.4533

OMG, sterilize your toothbrush with ultraviolet light. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.10131

Wow, these are handy - USB powered heated gloves. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.2820

ok, that's enough...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Monday, March 2, 2009

Speech to text...

In the amazing advancement of technology, there comes another breakthrough. With the popularity of text messaging, making it easier and faster seems to be the next logical step. So now instead of fumbling with a small keypad, or worse yet a tiny number pad, you can now write your text on a screen with a stylus and text your friends with your written word. Yes you will need a fancy new PDA style phone, but what a great step forward that is!

So it would seem the next logical step after that would be to just eliminate the stylus, and turn the sender's spoken word into a text message. So there would be no typing, no writing with a stylus. Your spoken word would be instantly transmitted as a text message for your desired recipient to read on his phone.

And maybe to avoid the inconvenience of the recipient to have to look at his phone screen to read the message, maybe they will soon invent a program that will turn the text message back into spoken word and the output would then be an audible text message for the listener. It would kind of be like just talking to each other...

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Growing up too early..

I am no expert in the field, but I have made an observation that effects kids growing up these days. When I was younger, I used to "go out and play" until I was probably 13 or 14. My brother Jerry and I would pretend we were International Government Agents and make our way stealthily to the neighborhood grocery store. (The IGA of course). We would role play and make life altering decisions in our play. We also would go to the "sandpile" and make golf ball tracks out of dirt. It would start out as a pile of dirt about 3-4 feet high that we could roll a golf ball down and around through tunnels etc. It required more important decisions like engineering and time management.

My point here is these days we expect our kids to grow up way too fast. Pier pressure and the internet don't allow a child to let their guard down and just have some old fashioned fun. By the time a kid is 10 or 11, they have to make decisions that really do effect their lives forever, not like our pretend decisions made during our play. They are worried about boyfriends and girlfriends, texting, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and countless other things I can't keep up with. They are computer experts and can download a song from Limewire to the computer and have it on the mp3 player quicker than I can get out the Scrabble board.

I guess the old days are gone forever. The kids these days will never experience the 101 fun things you can do with a stick. You have to admit there was a benefit to being able to fail during playtime and not during real life where it may leave a scar that will last forever. I know parents have good intentions signing a child up for piano lessons, dance class, soccer and then running around every evening and weekend to get them there. It just seems to me that some of life's loudest lessons are completely silent..