Dante Bucci - Fanfare

This is a solo acoustic version of "Fanfare" performed on the PANArt Hang. D minor penta on his lap, F major on his right.

The Connection Between Banned Playground Equipment and the Obama Bailout Program

When I was a kid, there was nothing funnier than finding a stupid kid to sit across from me on the teeter-totter, teasing him for a few minutes with some professional style teetering, then bailing off so the kid on the other end would slam to the ground and smack his naive tailbone into the ground sitting on the 2x12 treated board. Or how about the 30 foot high swingsets that were so cool that you could swing so high that you would get slack in the chain as you snapped back towards the ground? The chains weren't covered with that sissy plastic chain coating, it was REAL metal links spaced just right so some unsuspecting long-haired girl could get her hair caught. And there weren't those diaper shaped seats either, we had (evidently) the rest of the 2x12 board from the teeter-totter to sit on. Of course there was hard black asphalt under everything in case you slipped off the swing. I am not saying this part was cool, but without fail, every year some dumbass kid would fall off the swing and we would all gather 'round while the ambulance carted little Timmy away. Whatever happened to little Timmy?

We also had the monster metal slide from hell. Probably 20 feet tall, and on a hot day, the tin at the top would heat up to a thigh-blistering (what seemed like) 250 degrees. When you would try to slide down with shorts on, your thighs would stick and make that "skreet, skreet" noise until blistering skin provided the needed lubricant to make it to the bottom.

Also gone is the tetherball, that could strategically be used to bonk an unsuspecting opponent in the head with the ball. Not to mention the times when you went to fist the ball and you missed and hit the rope and wrapped the ball around your arm giving you a mega snake bite! The other formerly popular playground piece of equipment is the merry-go-round. It is where we learned dizzy can be fun, and even more fun when it is someone else trying to jump off or on at full speed.

What I am getting at, is all these things are gone from the playground because some uber-protective parents (probably Timmy's) complained. So now schools, parks and day care centers have removed any piece of equipment that is potentially harmful. They find it their duty to protect us from anything that may cause us to learn a life lesson. We have come to expect authority figures to pad our world so we are not hurt physically, mentally and now... financially.

Hence my connection to the Obama bailout plan, it all started with Timmy....

I Don't Feel (Very) Guilty...

6 years ago I fell prey to some very persuasive advertising that said I needed a brand new flashy pickup truck. There were pictures of it glistening in the sun flying through the Baja desert. At times it was bouncing over hills, leaving the ground flying in the air 3-4 feet. The truck was easily maneuvering through mud holes and deep snow and never got dirty! Needless to say, it had to have been a multi-million dollar ad campaign. And like any red-blooded, redneck pro-union consumer, I bit. I needed that truck... bad!

Now, 6 years later I see this commercial on Comedy Central during a Cheeto-filled afternoon of standup comedian marathon


Now I feel guilty for using a Zip-Lock bag, let alone driving my 10 mile a gallon (American Made)4 wheel drive. Is it my fault that I was watching TV 6 years ago and did my part to boost the economy and buy what was being put out there for consumers? I just don't think it is fair to pull on the heartstrings of TODAY'S consumers with solicitations like the above video. I am just one guy, working 40 hours a week, living in the midwest, staying out of trouble taxpayer.

I don't feel so bad though, there is another side to the polar bear story HERE so I will add "newly educated" to the string of adjectives in the above paragraph. And I will probably wait another day or so to check my tire pressure...

Shopping Cart GPS..

I was shopping at our local Meijer grocery store when this idea hit me. Why don't we have a little touch screen on our shopping carts that tells us where stuff is? I have been shopping at this same store for 10 years and I can still never find what I need. For example, we have taken a liking to Asian Sensations frozen egg rolls. I bought them a few times and now all of a sudden they are gone. I asked the frozen produce guy, and he went in "the back" for 5 minutes, then came out and we waked around the store for 10 more minutes because it turns out there are frozen egg rolls in 4 different places. He came to the brilliant deduction that they must no longer "carry them".


We could avoid this whole thing by having a product locater on our cart. Just enter "frozen foods", "egg rolls", Asian Sensations and boom, the screen will tell you exactly the aisle and location. We could take this a step further and you could "log in" to your shopping account and the cart would know what you usually buy (guy thing?) and remind you of your important items. It could also point out sales on similar items. Even one step further, have a GPS locater on the cart and it (the cart) could locate desired items for you! Wow, we could even have a UPC code scanner on the cart so we could have a running total or even check out right there in the cart!

Ok, I can wake up now because retail stores thrive on "impulse" buying. I go there just to get bananas and walk out with $50 worth of crap. Meijer even intentionally moves their produce around every couple weeks so I can't even find the damn bananas. So now I have to walk past the strawberries, ooooh and then the shortcakes, and then I need the red gooey liquid to pour over the strawberries, oh wait, the whip cream. What did I come here for?

Pop-ups on TV..

It was just a matter of time, but it is really starting to burn me up. On such television channels as TNT, The Discovery Channel or The History Channel, they have started using, for lack of a better term; pop-ups. It started out with just a small translucent logo on the bottom right of the screen, but it has evolved into a full blown animated 1/3 screen advertisement promoting an upcoming show or series. I find it so distracting and annoying that I will purposely not watch the show they are so hard trying to promote, but a lot of good that does. Below is a mild example. (watch it towards the end).



I don't see where this can go since they already run about 13 minutes of commercials on every 30 minute segment. I assume they will get bigger, more colorful and more animated. I realize the pressure is on to squeeze out every available dollar in today's economy, but they are fooling no one except the commercial skipper on the TIVO.

Ok I feel better now... NOT