Holy Crap..

My apologies for not posting for a couple days, but sometimes the life of a webmaster bites me in the butt. 14 out of my 20 websites disappeared off the internet without a trace. Luckily they were not my highest paying sites, but there are some paid advertisers that would be complaining if I did not do something fast. The sites that went off line were all hosted from a web hosting company that was offered to me free from a friend about 2 years ago (for the oldest site). I have had very little problems with them but there is no tech support to speak of. No there is no way to tell the status of an outage.

I have spent the last 2 days scurrying to set up new hosting accounts and getting the sites all back going. It takes 24-72 hours to get the domain names to resolve and then I had to hurry up and publish the entire site content. As of this post, all the sites are back up but 3.

Not only that, my quarterly taxes needed to be finalized and paid. So bear with me and with any luck, things will be back to normal soon.

Who's Responsible?

Now that the crude oil price is half of what it was when gasoline was $4.25, why isn't gas $2.12? I have heard every excuse in the book when gas prices were on the way up. First it was the istability of the European Front. Oh no, there might be a war in some country that I didn't even know was a country. Then it was hurricanes. Just the rumor of any hurricane (since Katrina) that may blow over a lawn chair in the gulf of Mexico sent gas up 15 cents. Then it was because of the US dollar being worth less. Then more hurricanes.

Well it seems to me that big corporations take turn profiting at my expense. I have figured out why gas is still expensive. It is the turn of insurance companies to make some profit. They took a big hit in Florida several years ago with the 4 hurricanes, then Katrina. And also the Mississippi flooding. So when gas is high, people drive less, so fewer car crashes. Hence, savings for the insurance companies. When more people are home because they can't afford to go anywhere, there are fewer burglaries because there are fewer unoccupied homes. Also burglars can't afford to just joyride around looking for houses to burgle. Not to mention arsons are down just because of the price of gas. So blame it on the insurance compainies this time.

More random thoughts...

I forgot to mention in my post about the election that I already know the results. I am sorry to dissapoint the pollsters, but McCain is going to win by a considerable margin. It boils down to the fact that when a pollster calls a home, people are afraid to appear politically incorrect and are saying they are voting for Obama. That and the fact that the media is trying to sway viewers Democratic and they make it seem like the population is leaning toward Obama. Yes, there is also going to be a scandal because of the result. Accusations of cheating and voter fraud will ring because "everybody" was sure Obama was going to win.*

* I reserve the right to edit this post :)

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You would think with the state of the country today, that there would be mass rioting in the streets. In the 60's and 70's people would protest for any reason. It was like a big party - let's get out on the streets and bitch about something. The reason we are so apathetic these days boils down to the fluoridation of the drinking water. Fluoride is poison and builds up in the body and brain and is passed on to our offspring, who in turn will be more apathetic. Read more at http://www.holisticmed.com/fluoride/. I don't really care though..

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On the same note, as we age our hearing fails, our sense of taste fades. Our vision blurs and we can't get around like we used to be able to. Well it is God's blessing that helps us stay married. I can't hear her complaining and I don't whine about her cooking. I can't see how unattractive (we) are becoming and I can't run away. (plus I am drinking a lot more fluoridated water)

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Finally a helpful hint to people giving out candy on Halloween. Buy Tootsie Rolls - the ones that about the size of your fingers. Eat 4 or 5 of them and take the wrappers and tape them around your fingers. When you approach the door, have your hand buried in the bowl. When you reach to give your little trick-or-treaters candy, move quickly and reach all the way into the kids bag or bucket and rustle around to make noise. In the confusion, they will never know any different. It takes a little practice, but I invented this system because my wife and I have a deal worked out. She buys the candy and I have to give it out. She usually buys the good stuff like miniature Snickers bars and Krackel bars. If there is any left over, I get to eat it :)

The Election..

Is it just me or is this Presidential election completely up for grabs? I am generally a conservative Republican, but I don't want to vote Democrat just because things haven't went well with the Bush administration. In the beginning and during the 9/11 crisis, George Bush was our hero and leader. But as time passed, we realized that this is going to cost a buttload of money and we just can't afford. But then the Vietnam argument rears it's ugly head and we resolve not to desert a country halfway through a war. So we stick it out, going slowly broker, thinking George will pull the answers out of his magic hat.

Well that didn't happen, and now with the mortgage crisis, stock market crash and unemployment, it feels like a relationship that is reaching it's end. We see Obama as the cute girl we kind of know that winks at us once in a while. We are so tired of our current Republican relationship, that we are ready to rebound into a new love. Except now we don't have a slew of choices, we only have one choice. It seems like the lesser of two evils is Obama. But with little experience will he be the girlfriend that can't balance the checkbook?

So I would guess we would have to look into the Vice-Presidential choices. Obama's choice Biden seems like an old fuddy-duddy Democrat that is afraid to have views of his own heard for fear of stepping on Obama's toes. If we had to rely on Biden to round out the ticket, I don't feel it. But then again Palin seems just TOO media friendly. This may be a good thing in one way as the media generally leans Democrat. But McCain is older than dirt and we may have to deal with Palin more than we are ready for. So the Vice-Preasidents don't help me a bit.

I actually liked a few of the ideas of Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani and the Law and Order guy. Why is it now we have to put all our eggs in one basket? I know I will regeret either choice I make at some point, even if my chosen candidate wins. My feeling at heart is that we are just plain screwed either way. I am not prejudice of feminist in any way, but maybe if I was it would be easier to decide.

Maybe we have reached a point in the evelution of government, that 1 person cannot rule our country. I know that the Senate and House have oversight, but any more, the bi-partisanness seems to be more of a bull-headed (pardon the pun) issue than the issue. So by the time you add the pork to pass a bill, you have lost the original point.

What we need is a BIG change. I would gladly support a flat income tax. Even if it was 20% with NO deductions for any one at any income level. Studies have suggested that even 10% would cover the tax amount that is brought in today. This would put more money in the pockets of the consumers like me that could afford to buy stuff to boost the local economy.

But who am I? I'll be right back, I have to fill my Prozac prescription...

Poetry First - Then Music (yes, I phoned it in)

(My Guitar) Leading Me On

LATELY I’VE FLAUNTED, MY GUITAR IS HAUNTED,

AND I’VE BEEN UNDAUNTED ‘TILL NOW

TO PLAY IT, IT PLEADS ME, I GO WHERE IT LEADS ME,

I FEEL LIKE IT NEEDS ME SOMEHOW



IT CALLS AND I FIND IT, I SIT THERE BEHIND IT,

I’M SIMPLY BLINDED AND PROUD

THE STRINGS STEER MY FINGERS AND I HEAR THE SINGERS

AS THE MELODY LINGERS ALOUD



I CRY WHEN IT’S SOUNDING GOOD

JUST 6 STRINGS OF STEEL AND SOME SHINY OLD WOOD

I PLAY… I PLAY OUR SONG

WITH MY GUITAR LEADING ME ON.

I CANNOT HIDE IT. I DIDN’T WRITE IT

IT CAME FROM INSIDE IT, MY FRIEND

IT HURTS AND IT’S HEALING, IT FLIRTS WITH THE FEELING

THAT I’VE BEEN CAUGHT STEALING AGAIN.


SOMEBODY BLESSED IT. A SOUL THAT’S UNRESTED

A SONWRITER’S FINAL BOW

THAT’S WHY I FLAUNT IT, MY GUITAR IS HAUNTED

AND I’VE BEEN UNDAUNTED ‘TILL NOW

I CRY WHEN IT’S SOUNDING GOOD

JUST 6 STRINGS OF STEEL AND SOME SHINY OLD WOOD

I PLAY…I PLAY…OUR SONG

WITH MY GUITAR LEADING ME ON.

copyright 2008 Jim Mohr

You thought nosebleeds were bad...

Ok, so you are learning why I am so messed up. Well I think I have pinned it down to a couple trivial, yet traumatic events in my childhood. Chronic nosebleeds, hay fever and 4 older brothers dented my psyche, but the following put me over the top.

It may be TMI, and I apologize, but I used to pee the bed until I was about 10 years old. I just played hard and slept extremely sound. First let me tell you that my mother (God rest her soul) tried every trick in the book to get me to stop wetting the bed. Liquid restriction, making sure to go to the bathroom before I went to bed and everything else she read or learned about did not help. This was in the era of not having a washer and dryer in the house, so my mom had to pack the laundry in the car and take it to the laundromat. This was before the time of socially acceptable kiddie diapers and sensitive family members.

Towards the end of the experience, she invented the "no pee bed party". She would put a red star on the calendar every day I did not wet the bed, and a yellow star (unfortunately) if I did. If I made it 7 days without wetting the bed, we would have (in theory) a small party with cake, etc. My brothers got to participate if I made it 7 days, so at 3 or 4 days they would start pressuring me so they could have cake too. Well to tell you the truth, I don't remember ever having a no pee bed party, I think the humiliation I went through is partially blocking my memory..

It was not the bedwetting that was traumatic, but treatment for the malady in the 1960's that was almost abuse. I remember my parents read about some breakthrough treatment for bedwetting, and invited over the salesman. We all sat down at the kitchen table and I remember how he said that it was unfortunate that "I could not have a sleepover at Johnny's house", and this new treatment would cure me in months.

It consisted of 2 aluminum window screens, each covered by a pillow case. A wire from each screen ran to a bedside bell with a loud buzzer, flashing red light and a switch to turn the unit off and on. The patient (me) was required to sleep naked on the 2 screens. When I started to pee the bed, the liquid would make an electrical connection between the screens and set off the buzzer and flashing light. I had to get up and turn off the unit, go into the bathroom (naked of course), splash my face with water to wake me up, and use the bathroom. I then had to go back to the bedroom, change the pillow cases and reset the machine.

I vividly remember 1 event. I was having my accident and the buzzer went off. I got up, turned off the machine, and made my way to the bathroom. When I splashed the water in my face, it woke me up enough to realize that there were strange faces in the living room I just walked through naked. It was my older sister and 3 of her girlfriends having a sleepover and watching tv. So I had to don a towel and walk back past them to get to get to my bedroom. And I was sure that my sister had to explain to them what the buzzer was and the flashing light. I made the humiliating journey amidst the snickers without making eye contact and changed the pillow cases and went back to bed.

Within 2 months of using the machine, I was cured, if that is what you want to call it. I no longer wet the bed, but until this day, even the slightest noise while I am sleeping will wake me. Not to mention I cannot even have the slightest urge to urinate and try to sleep. So I don't know how it works, I would have grown out of it eventually I guess, and in this case the cure was almost as bad as the affliction. But not according to my mom, the damn thing cost like $1000 in 1971.

So please treat this post as informational and theraputic if a family member has the same problem. I am just glad it is all over becase according to drybed.com "We work with your family to change this unhealthy deep-sleep pattern that underlies all bedwetting. We also increase the small bladder capacity and teach you how to strengthen and sensitize the sphincter muscle".

Maybe I didn't have it so bad...

Stuff from my memory...

I don't want anyone to think I am just "phoning in" my blog posts, so I will dig deep in my past and relate a couple items. I do have to hand it to the bloggers that can maintain a daily entry to their blog and keep it interesting.

Dovey: When I was very little, probably from an infant, I had a babysittter named we called "Dovey". She was an older woman that lived in the house behind us. I can only remember her wearing a light blue flowered robe-type dress. she must have been around 60ish and was very nice if not a bit overprotective.

I have 2 memories of her that are plain as the day (though I was probably 5 at the time) they happened and I would like to relate them. I used to have chronic nosebleeds as a child, and they never really bothered me because they were so frequent. As a matter of fact, they got me out of class many times in elementary school. I would be so busy playing in the yard that a nosebleed would would not dampen my fun. During one excessively productive event while Dovey was babysitting, I came in from playing with my shirt just drenched in blood. I didn't think anything of it, but Dovey became hysterical and started really freaking out. She could understand how I could be so calm when I must have a life-threatening injury. It was not until my older brother explained to her that this was a regular event did Dovey calm down. I did not realize until later in life that heavy nosebleeds can actually be harmful due to blood loss, but at the time it was more of a status symbol. I could even have a nosebleed in my sleep and that was weird to wake up to.

My saddest memory of Dovey was that she had this magic trick she would do for me everytime she babysat. She did it for as long as I can remember and I was jusy at a loss to how she did it. She would show me her hands and at the end of one finger on each hand she would have a small piece of white paper stuck to the tips. She would lean forward then way back and put her hands in the air, then over her head and behind her back, and when she brought her hands back over her head to the front, the paper pieces would be gone! She must have done this trick for me a thousand times over the years of babysitting, and for the life of me, I could not figure out how she did it. To me Dovey WAS magic.

What makes this sad, one day when I was 8 or 9, I finally figured it out. When she first showed me her fingers with the papers on them, the papers were stuck to her middle fingers. When she put her hands behind her head, she folded her middle fingers into her palms and when she brought her hands back, she exposed and pointed out her ring fingers with no papers. It sounds so simple just describing it like this, but to me it was thrilling.

She was so disappointed when I figured it out. I was like we lost a bond we had just between us. Within a week, she had a heart attack and died. God Bless my Dovie.



PS: a short note on the nosebleed thing, I had my tonsils out when I was 13, and had a nosebleed on the operating table. They did an emergency nasal cauterization. I later found out that nosebleeds during a tonsilectomy are a leading cause of death.


PSS: I have not been able to breathe through my nose since.

You're An EXTREME Redneck When....

Found on the website http://www.ebaumsworld.com/

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Play a free game!

This is an experiment to see if the great and powerful Google will allow me to put games on my blog!

Plays like Tetris - game courtesy of Play-Free.org

Helpful Hints..

Here are a couple helpful hints to make your life just a bit easier and save a few bucks.

1. If you ever need your tires rotated and it is cold out or you cannot do it yourself, try this. Find a repair shop that offers FREE brake check. Then tell the serviceman that you would like all the wheels removes so you can view and compare brake wear.

Act totally amazed and appreciative with the serviceman's knowledge of auto repair. Then just roll the wheels around the car to the desired location (pretending to examine tire wear). It easier to pull off a front-to-back, back-to-front rotation as opposed to a criss-cross rotation. Sometimes you really don't hve to be sneaky if you are nice to the mechanic and act as if you may use their services when you decide to have your brake work done. Plus you may even find you DO need brake work..

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2. My license branch has one of those number dispensers at the entrance. If your license branch does too, you can do this. Go when the license brance is very busy. When no one is looking grab 5 to 10 numbers from the dispenser. Look to see what number they are serving to judge how long you can be gone. Go ahead and go about your errands until you feel the license branch is serving the numbers in your stash. You can stand outside and sell them to hurried customers for $1 a piece. It is safer if you go inside and sit down and sell them to your neighbors discreetly. I don't think this is really a crime, but if you get caught, they may not be happy. But a great clandestine adventure can make your day as well as a few extra dollars..

More Deep Thoughts

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON T.V.?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60,She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If you are addicted to dancing, do you have to go through a 12 step program?

If olive oil comes from olives, and corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat"?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why do toasters even have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile E Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 's' in it?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before I met her.

Why do we know about the "Secret Service"?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

I played a blank tape at full volume. The mime that lives next door complained.

If you drove at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

All generalizations are wrong.

I was shopping at a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

What did tornadoes sound like before trains were invented?

Does a tanker truck full of helium weigh more full or empty?

I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.

Why do they call it stationary if you're supposed to mail it?

I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.

Do pediatricians play miniature golf?

Why don't they invent a solar powered flashlight?

If a fly didn't have wings, would we call it a walk?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

No matter how hard you try, you cannot dig half of a hole.

Why don't they invent a cordless extension cord?

Do they use trees grown in smoggy cities to make carbon paper?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why do we wait until the pig is dead to cure it?

What would happen if you xeroxed a mirror?

If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille numbers on a drive-up ATM?

Is there another word for synonym?

Did the early settlers ever go camping?

How do you know if a crouton is stale?

When it rains, do cotton fields shrink?

What is the speed of dark?

If a vampire can't see his reflection, how does his hair stay so neat?

Is animal shampoo tested on humans?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour to get out of the water?

Would a blind tourist use a sightseeing eye dog?

If you had everything in the world, where would you put it?

What does "it" mean in "what time is it"?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we know it?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If teflon is non-stick, how did they get it to stick to the pan?

What is another word for thesaurus?

Can fat people go skinnydipping?

If eyes have eyebrows, why aren't moustaches called mouthbrows?

It's not an illusion, it just looks like one.

First time cross-country skiers should choose a small country.

If a #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

Should a crematorium give discounts to burn victims?

How do you let people know you painted a "wet paint" sign?

When a cow laughs, does milk come out his nose?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

The early bird gets the worm, but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

I hated working at the fire hydrant factory. I couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Why isn't the word "phonetic" spelled like it sounds?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

How did a fool and his money GET together in the first place?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If it's true that we are here to help "others," then what exactly are the "others" here for?

If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Four fifths of all people have trouble with fractions.

Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor, because you were "just going down to the corner."

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
Why not put pictures of criminals on postage stamps so mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now they take Prozac to make it normal.

Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?

How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If someone tells you he is a chronic liar, should you believe him?

If you were traveling at the speed of sound, and you turned on your radio, would you be able to hear it?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read correctly?

If somebody vanishes without a trace, how do people know they are missing?

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it has to want to change.

Did they have antiques in the olden days?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?

Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

What would you use to dilute water?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling "Movie! Movie!" ?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

If a parsley farmer is sued, will they garnish his wages?

How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented, but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?

REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN...

Words of wisdom found on the internet:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) The accountant at the music store records records of the records.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?...Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

How can your house can burn up as it burns down, How can you fill in a form by filling it out, and in an alarm goes off by going on.

When the stars areout, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this Blog, I end it.

Prevent identity theft and surfing safely...

There are several steps you can take to make yourself less of a target for identity theft and make your computer and internet surfing experience safer.

My biggest bit of advice is to keep your virus protection and spyware programs current and updated. Run scans regularly.

Get a free email address (or 2) to use for online purchases, fourm posting or anywhere you have to use an email to submit something. If you use your personal email, after a while you will start getting spam. Some of my favorite free email address are Yahoo, Fastmail and Hotmail. And do not bother to "unsubscribe" from the link on the bottom of an unwanted email. this just verifies that you have a valid email address to the spammer. Instead use your email options to set your filters to screen bulk email and spam.

Do not click on links or download attachments in emails even if you think you know who they are from. And most important, do not enter personal information in email links or websites you were referred to, or navigated to by email. No matter how official they look, as they could be fraudulent or fake! If you get an unexpected email from someone you know that contains an attachment or a suspicious link - call them and verify they sent it.

Do not be afraid to purchase items online, as some of the best deals are found here. However, create an account with your credit card company and log in regularly to monitor credit card activity. It is easier for a criminal to create a new account online using your information, than it is for them to hack your password.

Also use "Shop Safe" or an equivalent. You can generate a temporary credit card number that you can set the amount and expiration date. It works the same as your regular credit card number, but if someone gets the number, they cannot use it. Learn more HERE. Ask your credit card company if they have it, or get one at https://www.bankofamerica.com/index.jsp.

When filling forms on line with personal information, make sure the web address in your browser starts with https:// and not http://. The "s" indicates a secure page.

Get LifeLock Proactive identity theft protection. For only $10 per month, they offer a $1 Million identity theft protection guarantee. Also reduces junk mail and unsolicited credit card offers. You can learn more here and get 10% discount.

Creation or Evolution...

First let me say I believe in God, I just have trouble fathoming that he can be everywhere for everybody at all times. I think he is more of a trusting humorous God that enjoys experimenting. I believe he is like a scientist that mixes up a formula, then stands back to see what happens. He has to remain indifferent when unpleasant circumstances occur, as affecting the variables during the experiment would alter the outcome. Why else would there be war, cancer, birth defects or tragic accidents?

My theory on evolution and creation is that we are not the first creation of God, nor will we be the last. When we are out in space, we jettison our bacteria laden garbage out the space capsule poop chute to float around for eternity. Or until it gathers with other space debris and be comes a bigger mass of space trash. Before too long, the frozen ball is struck by a comet or meteor and is sent on an unknown journey. Imagine that ancient space aliens did the same thing; millions of years ago. Their space trash traveled the universe until it crashed through the virgin Earth's atmosphere just as our lifeless planet was under development. The moldy Big Mac from space fell into the warm waters of the ocean just as it thawed, setting off events that have eventually lead to this blog.

The first creatures were 1-celled amoeba that flourished in the formerly lifeless seas. This answers how everyone came from Adam and Eve. Since amoebas are asexual, they split to reproduce, so they begat without incest. And begat they did, growing and evolving into the life as we know it. The rest can be found in the school books.

So God may have created the Earth in 6 days, and Man in his image, just not man as we know it...

Taxation on website revenue...

Well you finally made it, you are making money on the internet. Or at least the money is in your sights. It all seems like gravy when the checks start rolling in, but do not forget what it is; income, and it is taxable. I can only speak of the tax system in the United States, but earnings you generate on the internet is treated just like the money you make on your job. If you are in the 28% federal tax bracket on your job, you then owe 28% of money you make on the internet to Uncle Sam. What is worse, is that since you are self employed to generate this revenue, you owe an additional 14% self proprietor tax for a total of 42% or nearly half!

Also keep in mind that since the internet is electronic, so all your revenue is traced, tracked and reported. So avoid any future grief bykeeping good records and don't spend all your profits. You could even incorporate to save the 14% self proprietor tax, but you will then have to file quarterly reports, pay tax quarterly and probably pay an accountant. In my experience, the advantage to incorporate will pay off around $50,000 annual income.

The bright side, if you are making money on the internet, you require a computer to do so, so your computer is tax deductible. So is your printer, paper, pens, internet access, external hard drive, accessories and web hosting costs. So again I stress to keep good records. Get what you need to run your business comfortably and concentrate on the positive.