Monday, February 16, 2009

Bank Door Etiquette...

Like many banks, my bank has adopted a new security protocol. You can go in the first set of doors but you have to wait at the inside doors to be buzzed in. That is not all bad, but now you have to remove your hat and sunglasses (and keep them off) before you are allowed in. Like a good boy, I play along even though I have been banking there for 6 years and everyone knows me by first name basis. I know they are only "following the rules", but I always wear a baseball cap and sometimes I have on my prescription sunglasses and I can't see worth a crap without them.

What gets my goat here is the logic of the overall picture as viewed by the layman (me). The whole theory is I assume to prevent robbery. If that is the case, who cares who comes in? The problem is who is getting out! So how can they tell whether they are letting in a prospective robber? Only by the politically incorrect stereotyping could they prevent a robbery by keeping a robber out. I will give them the benefit of the doubt here and hope that they are really just trying to get a good photo of the alleged perpetrator by slowing patrons down at the door.

And what do you do if there is someone right behind you waiting to get in too? Are you polite and hold the door for them or are you supposed to slam it behind you so they can get the third degree too? What if in your opinion they look really suspicious, or what if THEY rob the bank, are you an accessory? Or worse yet, I really am the one that looks suspicious that you are letting in behind you. I would never rob the bank, but my humorous disposition put in this uncomfortable position does not help.

Ok, here is my solution. Let anyone and everyone come in the way they used to. After all we are all innocent until we actually rob the bank. Where the security needs to be, is on the way out. Most banks have double sets of doors to exit the building, put the locks on both sets and trap the robber between the doors on the way out. Yes, you would have to use bullet proof glass on the exits, or better yet, use ricochet glass (my invention). So if the robber fired his gun to break the glass, the bullet would keep bouncing around until it hit him. You could even use photosensitive glass so once trapped, flip the switch and he couldn't see anything. (and the law abiding citizens wouldn't have to watch him suffer after he shot himself from the ricochet glass). Or once he is trapped between the doors, a really strong vacuum comes from the ceiling and sucks all the money back from him.

Ok, I don't have all the answers, I just think it is stupid and inconvenient to keep people from getting INTO a bank, when what we are trying to do is keep a robber from LEAVING. There has got to be a better way.

1 comment:

One Reader said...

OR once he's trapped they could spray him down with tar & feathers... then he'd be easy to catch if he escaped. Or like blue ink or something. That would at least have the added benefit of being humourous :-)